Shame
Etymology
From Old English "sceamu." A long-standing (though disputed) theory traces it to a Proto-Indo-European root meaning “to cover” — which fits the universal gesture of shame: hiding the face, covering the body. Whether or not the root is right, the instinct to conceal is the feeling’s signature.
noun · /SHAYM/
The painful sense that you yourself are flawed, exposed, or unworthy.
What it names
Use it when the wound is to identity rather than to conduct — the wish to disappear, to be unseen.
Example
The shame of the bankruptcy kept him from telling even his closest friends for years.
Related idea
Against guilt: guilt is about a deed and points outward toward repair; shame is about the self and points inward toward concealment. Embarrassment is shame’s milder, more social cousin — a passing flush, not a verdict on your worth.
noun · /SHAYM/
A cause for regret or disappointment; a pity.
What it names
an unfortunate circumstance
Example
It’s a shame you couldn’t stay for the ending.
Related idea
A far milder sense than the painful exposure of the main entry — closer to regret than to disgrace.
verb · /SHAYM/
To make someone feel shame, or to pressure them into acting by exposing them to it.
What it names
the act of making another feel disgraced
Example
He was shamed into apologizing in front of the class.
Related idea
The public tool built from the private feeling; compare humiliation.
See also