Benching
Etymology
A sports metaphor: a benched player is kept on the team but not put in the game. The term was popularized around 2016 as online-dating vocabulary proliferated, alongside other coinages for the era’s low-commitment behaviors.
noun · /BEN-ching/
Keeping a romantic prospect in reserve as a backup — neither committing to them nor letting them go.
What it names
It names a specific limbo: someone keeps you around with occasional attention so you stay available, while they pursue other options. It captures the quiet unfairness of being an insurance policy for another person’s dating life.
Example
Every time I try to move on he texts something sweet — I’m pretty sure I’m being benched.
Related idea
A relative of breadcrumbing: breadcrumbing is the trickle of attention, benching is the underlying strategy of keeping you in reserve.